Let me start by saying I am reasonably certain I don’t have OCD.  Or should that be reasonably sure I don’t have OCD? I do know I like things to be neat and orderly as when I want to find a 10mm spanner, or the peanut butter, I want to go to one place and know that I will be able to find what I’m looking for.  My wife on the other hand doesn’t subscribe to this way if thinking, as things are regularly left “on the side”, “in the cupboard” or “you know, in the thingy.”  

Now, truth being told, when it comes to cars I recognise that I take this to a different level.  It’s fair to say that I’m fairly obsessive about them. This comes from a man who stripped out most of the interior of his car trying to track down each rattle, squeak and any other such annoying noises.  At one point there was more interior trim in the garage than in the car – trim panels, speakers, boot floor, seats, you name it. If it could be unbolted and wasn’t a prerequisite for driving I have removed it, lubricated it, attached felt tape to it and put it back together again.  The only thing I can hear in my car now is the rustle from my coat against the seat belt, and even that annoys me.  

Now the noises are sorted I’ve moved onto my next obsession, the condition of the interior and bodywork. I’ve noticed little blemishes or paint chips here and there.  My car rolled off the production line in 2006, the same year Italy won the World Cup, Pluto was downgraded from being a planet and Borat was released, so it’s expected to have picked up some signs of use over the last 14 years, I know I have.  Yet after all of this it’s really starting to bother me.

When it’s clean I can see its fine lines and wrinkles so I look forward to getting it dirty to cover them up again. When it’s covered in grime I’m annoyed it’s filthy and clean it again. There is no solution to this paradox, aside from a face lift and going to the gym or a respray and a retrim but in the real world, with my real world budget, that just isn’t going to happen. Besides it would just get driven and start to age again anyway.

Where am I going with this?  In a world of botox and fillers, making everyone look younger and better than they did yesterday, can the same be applied to cars? Or should it?  I bought my car to drive it. The enjoyment I get is from the noise, the speed, its handling and its styling, not the level of perfection in the paintwork. I sometimes need to remind myself of this, both when polishing the paintwork or when looking in the mirror.  Signs of aging should be celebrated as enjoyment and experience, not ashamedly covered up. Now, where is that 10mm spanner?